B’nai Mitzvah at MVHC
Information to Frequently Asked Questions
Choosing a Date
Choose a date by filling out the Date Request Form and sending it to the Office with copies to the Rabbi and Education Director. This date is conditional on the successful fulfillment of the Shabbat and holiday service requirements, and the form must be accompanied by a progress plan on service attendance. It is understood that the student commits to completing their final year in Hebrew School even if the Bar or Bat Mitzvah takes place before the end of the Hebrew School year.
 
Shabbat and Holiday Service Requirements
Two years before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah students are required to attend to services/month for nine months. During the year before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, students are required to attend three Shabbat or holiday services/month for 9 months. Two of those services must be on a Shabbat or holiday morning. In other words, over the course of the year before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, the student must come to 27 services. Rosh Hashanah morning and Yom Kippur Kol Nidre morning are a required part of those 27 services. Students are requested to come on time and to dress appropriately for the occasion.
 
Tutoring
Tutoring begins around 9 months before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah with weekly meetings from 15-30 minutes. Tutoring normally takes place on Wednesday or Thursday afternoons. It is important that students come on time for their appointment and come prepared. If they are not able to prepare that week, please let the tutor know in advance so they have the option to reschedule.
 
Students will learn how to chant Torah, prepare a d'var Torah, and lead select prayers in the service. We adapt our program to each student's strengths and learning styles. The typical components are:
  • Torah chanting 9-21 verses
  • D'var Torah
  • Prayers: Friday night Kiddush and candles; Saturday morning Shema V'Ahavta, Torah service, Aliya Blessing, Tallit Blessing
  • Mitzvah Project
 
Planning the Service
  • When the date is chosen, let the office know the Bar/Bat Mitzvah's full Hebrew name on the Date Request Form.  If your child does not yet have a Hebrew name, the rabbi can help the child choose one.
  • Over the course of that year, decide on a Tallit and Kippah for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. This can be purchased, created, or handed down to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
  • You may choose to engage the services of a musician for the service.  Talk to the Rabbi for suggestions.
  • The times of the Friday evening services are 5:30 in the off-season and 6:00 in July and August.  The times of the Shabbat morning services are 10:00 in the off-season and 9:30 in July and August.  The length of the Friday evening service is 1 hour.  The length of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah morning service depends on the number of special songs, readings and speakers and runs no longer than 2 hours.
  • Readings are a way to include the participation of family and friends in the service. You are invited to choose up to three English readings.  Please give the rabbi these readings and the names of readers no later than 4 weeks before the service.
  • Aliyot and Torah Honors - The Bar/Bat Mitzvah family is welcome to invite guests to come up for some of the Aliyot. An Aliya is an expression of belonging to the Jewish people and therefore are reserved for Jewish family and friends. It is the responsibility of the family to notify all those who will be honored. Parents who are not Jewish are welcome up to the bima to stand with their child during the Aliya. For Torah honors such as ark openings and dressing the Torah, we also request that you ask Jewish family and friends for these honors. Please let your honorees know that they must wear a tallis (and for men a tallis and yarmulke) when they come up to the bima for Torah honors. If they are saying the Aliya blessing, please encourage them to practice before the service. The blessing is recorded on our website.  http://www.mvhc.us/music.html
  • Give the Rabbi names for Aliyot 4 weeks before service (English name and Hebrew name _________ ben/bat ________), as well as the names for other Torah honors.
 

  • Ushers--Please assign four ushers to pass out prayer books and to help seat people.
  • Family Meetings--There will be a group educational meeting for families in preparation for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.  In addition, there will be one individual planning meeting to plan the service and a second meeting to run through the service.  This run-through will take place 2 weeks in advance of the service. Please schedule with the Rabbi.
  • Parents Blessing--Parents are invited to say words of blessing to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah during the service and are given up to 5 minutes total for all expressions of blessing and personal words. Beyond that, family and friends are welcome to continue with personal words at the Kiddush or party.
 
Shabbat Etiquette at MVHC Services
 We try to keep the synagogue and the sanctuary a special and holy place over Shabbat and holidays. Regardless of our home practices, we therefore join to make the sanctuary a place that reflects a Shabbat of connection, holiness, prayer and rest. Therefore, please let your guests know that there is no photography permitted during the service. Use of cell phones and/or electronic devices are not permitted anywhere inside the synagogue or outside the front entrance on Shabbat and holidays. Please refrain from writing in the sanctuary on Shabbat or holidays.
 
 
 
Oneg and Kiddush
  • It is our custom that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah family sponsors the Oneg on Friday night and the Kiddush for Saturday morning. Some B'nai Mitzvah classes organize a co-op so that families sponsor each other's Friday night Oneg. MVHC supplies the wine and challah.
  • In order to be inclusive of all our members, our Onegs and Kiddushim are pareve/milchig (no meat including chicken or chicken broths). We therefore ask you to check with the Office Manager about approved caterers and permitted menus before you finalize your plans. Please submit menu to office 3 weeks in advance.  Check in with the Office Manager about plans for clean up after the Oneg and Kiddush, which will be your responsibility in order for the Center to be left in the condition it was prior to your event.
  • Let the Office Manager know 4 weeks in advance how many invited guests are expected so she or he can have the room set up appropriately.  Flatware, linens and other supplies for reception are to be supplied by the family. All left over food is to be removed after your event.
 
Contribution
It is a Jewish custom to express gratitude to the community for life-cycle events with contributions that help maintain the community. Please consider a contribution to the synagogue in honor of your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
 
Bar and Bat Mitzvah Checklist
  • Choose a date with the Rabbi and provide office with student's full Hebrew name
  • Set up tutoring with Rabbi
  • Decide on a Tallit and Kippah for the Bar/ Bat Mitzvah
  • Discuss with Rabbi Aliyot and Torah Honors
  • Give Rabbi names for Aliyot four weeks before service as well as names for other Torah honors
  • Schedule run through with Rabbi two weeks before the service
  • Prepare parent(s) blessings at Bar/ Bat Mitzvah
  • Oneg Friday night sponsored by the family or friends of Bar/ Bat Mitzvah
  • All Onegs and Kiddushim are pareve/milchig. Submit menu to Administrator for Rabbi approval three weeks prior to event
 
Payments and Deposit
 Dues and school tuition must be paid in full at least three months before event. The fee of $500.00 is required two months prior to event.  This fee includes the cost of the audio technician, as well as the set-up and clean up of the Kiddush lunch.  You will be billed for any additional service(s) within two weeks after event.
 
Parent Signature ­­­­­­­­­­­:
 
Date: 
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